Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I've never known anybody who keeps cheese in his pocket.

That's what they were saying at work today.

My question is: How would you know? If the cheese is in his pocket you would only know about it if he chose to show you.

Oh, by the way, I DO keep cheese in my pocket. Sliced cheese. It's flat, so it's perfect for transporting in a pocket. And the warmth of your body heats the cheese so it's nice and tasty when you finally eat it. Some days before I make a sandwich I will stick a slice of cheese in each pants pocket. Five minutes later, they're good and warm.

Those damn prime numbers.

This upsets me.

The first 22 primes:
2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37
41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71 73 79

Sums of the first primes.
They seem to follow a rule that
they alternate between a sum that
is a prime number, or a sum that
is one less than a prime number.

Then it all falls apart at 19.

PRIME 2+3= 5
PRIME-1 2+3+5= 10= 11-1
PRIME 2+3+5+7= 17
PRIME-1 2+3+5+7+11= 28= 29-1
PRIME 2+3+5+7+11+13= 41
PRIME-1 2+3+5+7+11+13+17= 58= 59-1
7 X 11 2+3+5+7+11+13+17+19= 77

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Love will keep us together.

This month Vanda celebrates the 35th anniversary of the Captain and Tennille spending a full month at number one on the Billboard charts. Having once seen them who can forget the sappy performances, Captain at piano and Tennille vamping out the lyrics in the most M.O.R. way possible. Vanda remembers seeing the C & T on stupid TV variety hours. Was 1975 when the Sonny and Cher show was on? Who can remember so long ago? Where's Google when you need him?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Made Up News Viraling Out Of Control

You can't blog what you can't articulate.
If Thomas Jefferson had been born with horns, America would be an entirely different country.
They found the remains of Amelia Earhart in Kiribati. Confirmed with DNA analysis against her preserved appendix. Dr. Lorenzo Rosselo confirms that there is a 99.7% chance that these are the actual bones of the aviatrix, few though they be, having been scattered by the scavenging crabs of Nikumaroro.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Makes me sneeze. Makes me gag. Fills my nose up with snotty ooze.

It's yellow-green pollen week once again in the Arklatex. Thousands of dozens of sufferers just like me are fighting with mucosa illuminated by invading pollen, particularly the yellow-green stuff "they" claim comes from the conifers.
Years ago I used to spend the first part of April in the desert to avoid this very thing. I fear this year 'tis Benadryl again.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Andromeda Galaxy to Strike Earth

If you've been watching the Discover Channel, and who hasn't?, you know as well as I do that the end of the world will be when the next 6-mile asteroid slams into it.

So science needs to get off its big fat duff and start pushing asteroids away. Long live man!, right?

But wait! You can push asteroids out of our path until doomsday, but what's the point? The Andromeda Galaxy (M13 to anyone with a Celestron) is on a collision course. The astronomers KNOW this; It WILL hit the Milky Way; We live in the Milky Way; We will be extinctified!

So science needs to get off its big fat duff and start pushing GALAXIES away. If i may metaphor biologically... Picking off an occasional biting ant doesn't do you a bit of good if when you're done an elephant sits on your head.